Sunday, January 20, 2019

Reset




"Take the Remnants of Gold from each Karmic experience and use it as a ladder to climb above it." Chakra Wanda


pictures courtesy of Bridget Carone
This blog post is not what I originally had planned after my 'Bottom Line for 2019' writing. However, I believe it is appropriate to share as my words below do reflect my authentic self to those who care to read my musings.

Today is the day after the Women's March 2019, the Sunday of the three day Martin Luther King weekend for those of us fortunate enough to have Monday as a "holiday." While others in my realm of awareness have been strong advocates voicing their concerns of justice, equality, human rights, and many other significant needs of humanity, I have been in "Reset Mode." At one time in my history I had considered this to be a negative or unproductive moment of my journey. However, I have come to recognize the value of this reset mode.
Pogonip in the Desert

In the past I have struggled with the internal gremlin dialog I experience during reset mode. Phrases such as: what a waste of time; here we go again, retreating from the world; get your lazy butt up and do something; stop using your physical health history as an excuse; here's just another example showing why you are not good enough for _________; at least use this time to write and put some words on the page. Well, the reality is, I eventually do put some words on the page. But, this only occurs after blocking out everything around me for awhile. Let me explain or, as my writing coach says, show you.

January brings many messages: the new year on the cultural calendar; winter at its peak in the northern continent; resolutions or intentions.

For a week the low pressure system in the high desert of northern Nevada creates a grayness of continuous clouds, cold winter humidity, and pogonip as seen in the image above (pictures shared by friend Bridgit a few miles from my home). My physical body goes into hibernation mode.  A partially finished crochet blanket rests on my heart, gradually expanding with each double crochet stitch. The television screen displays a historical fiction drama. Crumbs from simple sugar comfort foods sit on a paper plate. Social media notifications are ignored on the cell phone. Hours pass by unnoticed until an inquiry concerning dinner is made. Blank morning writing pages cumulate as no words are swarming in my head...until that moment when I awake and half remember a dream in my light sleep stage. Then reawakening begins.

Sometimes pogonip happens. It is not expected or planned for. It just exists for a little while and eventually melts and life goes back to normal.  Like the natural world of select conditions leading up to the pogonip, events occur leading up to my reset mode. 

There are moments when I can no longer take in the happenings of the world around me --- not the big issues of the world like the National Women's March; not the near close to home chaos of a random shooting in a shopping mall I was in 24 hours previously; not the smaller events in my community of a new pizza take-out business my daughter is now employed at; not even the fact that I am out of a favorite creamer for my coffee and it would only take a half hour to create a grocery list and go get some basics. I've reached a tipping point that has put me in reset mode. My spirit and energy must pause and this requires blocking out all but the essentials. I make adjustments at my place of employment because I know that I can do just the essential tasks and get caught up on my bigger projects when this passes. I can post pone bigger decisions and giving of myself because I know that after my reset mode the Universe will give me the energy I need for the tasks at hand and my greater intentions.

So, this is what I know about being in reset mode. It eventually passes but sometimes I also need a rope. There is a connection between what I am writing here today and what I wrote earlier this month on bridges. When building something, there is value in having a safety rope. Sometimes we slip and have to pause and reach out for a rope to pull us back so we can continue our journey. In most cases, that safety line is essential because we are human, after all. And, during the recent freezing fog I experienced a moment when I literally was standing on a slope of black ice. Standing isn't exactly the right word, however. I was hanging with every ounce of strength to the car door as there was no way I could stand! It was a time when I said, "Nope, my plan is not going to happen!" I could not get from point A to point B and had to completely change plans.

At the top of this post is a quote from a friend who is tuned into the spiritual realm. She recently received a message which she shared, "Take the Remnants of Gold from each Karmic experience and use it as a ladder to climb above it." (Chakra Wanda) So, what I received from this message is: Reset Mode, the pogonip, is also its own Karmic experience. I can choose to listen to the gremlin dialog or find the remnants of gold waiting for me to grab onto. While building my bridge to the new decade, I cannot be afraid of the moments of "Reset." I must believe that the strands of strength will be provided for that bridge.


Thursday, January 3, 2019

Bottom Line for 2019

Recently my life coach Amy K asked me the question: What is your bottom line for 2019? Now, in some conversations this may be in reference to financial status. But for me, that isn't what it is about, or is it? Financial status reflects investment. Investment of time, money, resources...hmmm. So, what if I ask the question this way? How am I going to invest my energy, time, money, resources in 2019 and for what desired outcome?

Here is my response: 2019 is the Bridge to a New Decade, a New Season. This concept of a designated time related to a bridge comes not from my own creativity, but rather an extension of something a friend created. Julie Jordan Scott, with her collaborator Paula Puffer, created a FaceBook Group called Bridge to the New Year. Each day in the month of December they offered prompts for us to share a response in any creative platform we wanted. As we finished up I realized that for me 2019 is a Bridge YEAR. So what is a bridge? What are bridges for? How are they made?

What is a bridge? So, the word bridge can be used in multiple ways. The essence of the word is linking one thing to another. As a noun it is a connector piece, or location. The land bridge allowed the two communities to share needed resources. As a verb it is used as an action word meaning to help get over or through challenges.  The school liaison bridged the language barrier between the parents and teachers. 

What is a bridge for? Many times along our journey of life we need a structure or tool to help us get from point A to point B. This can be thought of in a very physical sense, like the physical structure of a bridge taking an individual over a river. And, this can be thought of in a more abstract way, like taking time in the month of December to reflect and respond to prompts that help us close out the year of 2018 and open ourselves up to the possibilities of 2019.

How is a bridge made? A bridge is a structure. But this is the little bit I know about bridges. They need to also have some "give and take" and not all bridges work for all situations. Imagine the foot bridge created in the rugged mountains and compare that image to the bridges that are located in the San Francisco Bay area. When we were responding in the FaceBook group Bridge to the New Year, the creators recognized that the participants needed different ways to respond, some flexibility. A structure was provided but we had some "give and take."

My Bottom Line for 2019...get across the bridge! So, in January I am exploring what I need to first create my bridge, then I will be putting the foundational structure together. In the process I am including some flexibility with the end result in mind. I'm soon going to be an "empty nester." Yep! My oldest child is almost completely self-reliant now functioning in the adult world. My middle child graduates from high school in May of this year and is on a journey towards higher education. My youngest becomes a senior this year and graduates May 2020. The time has come to put my resources and understandings together to live my best life in this next new season of the journey with my husband. I won't be detailing my bridge here in this post. But, some people know that I need to see the big picture. I like to have a sense of knowing where I am and where I am going. It is okay if the energies of the Universe guide me slightly differently than I expected but I need a support system with a destination in mind.

So my questions to those who share their time reading this blog post are: Is 2019 a Bridge year for you? What is your bottom line for 2019? What will you need for your bridge? And, what support system will you put in place to get to your destination?

Friday, December 7, 2018

Fullness 2018



Once again I am writing in response to the Bridge to the NewYear group of creatives with Julie Jordan Scott and Paula Puffer. The prompt is in regards to my word for 2018 - Fullness. I have also done a Periscope broadcast/Twitter post but decided to also write. A year ago I was not feeling fantastic physically and anyone  who has had health issues knows, the physical challenges we encounter has a relationship with our mind and spirit. So, without going into too many details here, I did some work with my life coach and chose the word fullness for 2018. Or, I could say, the word was selected for me by a higher power. Anyway...below you will find some highlights in how I found fullness in my life.

In 2018 my husband and I made the decision to do some home improvements. Anyone close to me knows that when my husband and I have the idea to do something at the same time, it (whatever it is) must definitely get accomplished because that scenario does not happen frequently. With much debate we painted the inside of our home, replaced carpet, and completed some necessary decluttering. Though I have to say, more decluttering is on the list for 2019. Working jointly on a project with the family is a true place of fulfillment.

Another action step I took to experience fulfillment is to create more sacred time and space for creative expression. My creative expression came in multiple forms. I began to broadcast on social media (something new for me) and joined the beautiful PeriGirls. I discovered how doodling/coloring can provide special messages from the spiritual guides through a wonderful artist Elizabeth Sampson and her Art of Intuitive Doodling. I began to explore more of the grand dreams I have with the fabulous Pooja Chawla and her DreamCircle. I'm writing more and have been learning what it takes to write a novel (I've been a writer for awhile but this is a new kind of writing for me). I have Julie Jordan Scott to thank for more writing support. I've been able to acknowledge to a greater depth my gift of creative expression.

A place I spend 30 hours a week is the public library. I'm the Branch Library Assistant and in rural Nevada that means I'm the only one in the building and pretty much do everything needed. Ok, so some management things have to be done by the main administrative location, but I am the one who greets the patrons and attempts to help them with whatever task that is needed. In a six hour day I have assisted as many as 40 patrons from book selection to office store type tasks (faxing, copies) to finding government or legal documents on the internet. The area of work I receive much of my fulfillment is through my integrated Family Literacy and STEAM Program (Science Technology Engineering Art Math). I create a space that allows me to put my teacher hat on without the stress of my former job as a public education teacher. I simply provide "prompts" for learning and go with the flow of the children and their parents.

The most meaningful fulfillment has been through friendships. I've had the opportunity to spend quality time with long time friends and new friends. Some of my friends have had a tough 2018 and I'm grateful that I could be present for them at times of loss. And, there are also wonderful moments like sitting at a California beach with essentially no one else around except a close friend and being blessed with the presence of dolphins close to the shoreline. And then there was the time of improving my skill of taking photos with a master of social media, opening up the way I see things. My daughter is now eighteen, a senior in high school, and I feel that we are closer than we ever have been. I treasure these last days before she enters the young adult college world this next fall. I've already mentioned the accomplishment of taking care of our home with my husband. And, I have two sons, currently ages 16 & 22. Each have brought joy in my life in their own unique way as well.

I guess what the Universe has reinforced in my life about fullness is this: I can intentionally enjoy and capture the moments along the journey. Maybe I'll write more on this in future posts. 

Enjoy the captured moments along the journey!


Monday, December 3, 2018

Just Stuff about Me

I have joined a group of Creatives instigated by my friend Julie Jordan Scott and Paula Puffer. My intention is to post more content in the month of December for our Bridge to the New Year. You can find us on many social media platforms but our base is on Facebook.

Below you will find my first writing to the prompt: Interesting Things About Me
(I've limited it to 18 for the year 2018)


1. I'm 50 but most people think I'm much younger when they focus just on my facial features.

2. I have 3 beautiful children, a young adult son working on a Masters in Accountancy already working in a Public Accounting firm, a daughter senior in high school ranked #1 in her class currently holding the highest ACT score of her class and known for her writing, a multi-faceted artistic son a junior in high school.

3. I began working at a young age in my step-father's restaurants. By the age of 13 I could hostess a banquet, waitress, bus tables, do heavy duty dish washing, cook using a commercial grill & fryer, do the prep for any item on a 100 item hot and cold buffet (including all the salads).

4. By the time I was 18 I also learned the skills for every department in a small grocery store owned by my aunt and uncle, worked in a Roller Skating Rink and again learned how to do every job and being the D.J. was the best, worked in a Moneysaver, and of course had numerous baby sitting jobs.

5. Maintained highest academic status (Honor Roll) in high school even while simultaneously working a lot of hours.

6. Knew I would be an elementary teacher at the age of 13 when put in a sink or swim situation in a church setting. I accomplished that working in public education over a span of 20 years.

7. I've lived in 6 states -- Washington, Idaho, California, Arizona, Montana, Nevada -- living in Nevada the longest from 1992 to present.

8.  I've lived in 14 towns from rural to city, along mountain streams to river valleys to the beach to the desert -- Peck, ID; Clarkston, WA; Mesa, AZ; Riverside, CA; Huntington Beach, CA; Long Beach, CA; Port Hueneme, CA; Whittier, CA; Bozeman, MT; Craigmont, ID; Winchester, ID; Clearwater, ID; Lewiston, ID; West Wendover, NV.

9. I'm an only child but have five (half) siblings and I'm the oldest with my youngest only sister born when I was 17. When I took my little sister and brother (18 months older than sister) out and about with my long-term high school boyfriend, my teachers thought they were mine and I was living a double life. Some may classify mother's present husband's three children as step-siblings but I never lived with them.

10. I met my husband playing pinball my freshman year at college. We now own that particular pinball machine called Pin-Bot..

11. I did not know my husband's first name, only his last, when he asked me out for our first date to movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off. I told a girlfriend about him and she knew his first name and they were friends! I also knew this was the man I would marry at the end of that first date.

12. My favorite female musical artist is Amy Grant. I've seen her perform live at least 5 times and 
enjoyed a one on one 5 minute conversation with her with basically no one but her band in the background.

13. I play Bunco, a dice game. I discovered that my great-grandmother also played Bunco and so now when I play I know she is with me in spirit. When I had my first born, we had a 5 generation picture with this great-grandmother.

14. I have recovered from home bound Chronic Fatigue with Immune Dysfunction and severe Fibromyalgia. I removed myself from the public education setting to seek accurate assessment and healing (primarily naturopathic doctors). I still have to pay attention to my body's messages and work on healthier living but spent the past year on a selective diet that has healed a leaky gut under the guidance of an ND. Mild Fibro flares, arthritis, inflammation while still present at times, no longer prevent me from living fully.   

15. I love chocolate, blush wine, cats, watching movies, music.

16. I am writing a novella.

17. I am a librarian without holding a MLIS (Master's in Library & Informational Science). During my first year of teaching I said to a friend, when I'm tired of the classroom, I'm going to work in a library. Officially my title is Branch Library Assistant. But here's the thing, I'm the only staff person (other than my sub) in a small town library and do almost everything. Obviously, some tasks & decisions for media management is done by others in the system but my boss is 120 miles away! For my community, I've been the Librarian since September 2015.

18. I love books! I have an eclectic collection. In 2018 I read 75 titles, not including children's picture books which would put me over 100.


Friday, October 12, 2018

Authentic Teachers

One of the things I remember about high school were the behaviors of my teachers outside the classroom. I did not live in a tiny town but I did see some of my teachers in different community situations and sometimes had the opportunity to interact with them. A few teachers attended the same church I did. My parents did not attend the church so my interaction as a teen was strictly by my choice with the church community. I observed how my teachers interacted with the other adults and us teens. They were always positive and caring. So when they demonstrated that behavior at the school I knew it was real, not just a persona, not just pretending that they cared for the students in the classroom, not just doing something because it was in some job description for teachers. They were real and authentic. I knew that if I went up to them on the school campus needing assistance, they would follow through and provide assistance as needed. I came to understand that sometimes these individuals went above and beyond the basics when they saw my needs. These teachers who are now retired most likely will never see this blog. But, I thank them. I thank them for being people I could trust and people who truly cared about me when I needed assurances.

Thursday, October 4, 2018

Teachers Influence

Who are the teachers in your life? 

We all have teachers influencing us regardless of our age. Teachers have teachers who influence their thinking, behaviors, and actions. 

When I use the word teacher, I am referring to people who hold the role in your life whom you receive instruction, guidance, and modeling. I am not speaking solely of the person in our society who participates in a position in a formal education system. For example, a supervisor in a restaurant may be an effective teacher to the business' employees which contributes to the effect of a very successful business.The teacher who influences your life may be someone you have never met in person and be a celebrity who through her public life has shown her authenticity, her growth, shared her life teachers, and as a result has taught you incredible ideas pushing you to explore your beliefs. The teacher who influences your life may no longer physically walk on this earth and their teachings are accessible in print or other forms of recorded history.

I ask the question because teachers influence who we are.

Sometimes, people who hold the role of teacher interact with you in such a way that what you learn is actually destructive to your ability to do your best at a specific time. I imagine that in most cases that interaction that held you back from the fullness of learning and growth was not intentional from the teacher. But the reality is, this can happen.

I have many teachers I can point to that I feel are key to my growth and learning as a human being. I am a teacher who has had many teachers. And, I expect the Universe to continue providing teachers for me.  

I challenge you to share below who the teachers are in your life and reveal the key lesson, event, or message that took place. You don't need to reveal a specific name (just label 'Teacher X' if you want). During the next few weeks I will be adding a series of posts revealing some of my teachers.

    "A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops." Henry Brooks Adams

Tuesday, September 11, 2018

Visual Expressions

"I am a leaf floating, leaving my anchor."


"I am a leaf in the autumn returning to my roots."


"I am a leaf allowing the breeze to move me."


"I am a leaf dancing in the wind."




I awoke this morning feeling like crud. A slight cold/sinus issue dampened my intentions for the morning. Instead of telling a friend who I planned on collaborating with this morning that I felt like crud I gave her the visual: I feel like a brick that had bricks fall on it. 

Word choice in language is powerful. The words we hear, read, and write influences our state of being. We use words to describe how we feel and experience the world. The more words we see, hear, and read gives us more choices and freedoms. Everyone has a unique experience with words. What a gift we have in the ability to record our experiences through written expression. While "a picture paints a thousand words" is an old saying, we have the opportunity to write down what we see, hear, feel, and experience from that picture. I encourage you who have taken the time to read this blog to join me in writing a thousand words.

Do you notice that in the first paragraph I select verbs in the past tense? Do you notice that the verbs in the second paragraph is present tense? If you recall what the words "verb" and "past" and "present" mean, thank your English teachers. 

I titled this post as "Visual Expressions." I selected an image of fall and immediately wrote four personal expressions. This little exercise took just a couple minutes for me. Each statement created a different understanding of the subject I. This is an example of the power of words and how we understand people, places, emotions, ideas, and things. We can learn about our self, others, and the world we live in when we take 5 minutes at a time and put words down on the page. 

So, I do have a greater purpose of writing this blog today. I am part of the Julie Jordan Scott Word-Love Writing Community. And, Julie is creating a women's writing group that begins this month. I love the way technology of today allows people from diverse locations the ability to interact and support each other. If you are curious, have any inclinations towards writing, I encourage you to explore what Julie is putting together. I am signed-up already. I love interacting with Julie on all the social media platforms out there. She is pretty easy to find. So, go to this link: http://creativelifemidwife.com/septpassionatewritingcircle/ . I look forward to meeting and supporting other creatives in this passionate writing circle.