Fullness 2018

Once again I am writing in response to the Bridge to the NewYear group of creatives with Julie Jordan Scott and Paula Puffer. The prompt is in regards to my word for 2018 - Fullness. I have also done a Periscope broadcast/Twitter post but decided to also write. A year ago I was not feeling fantastic physically and anyone  who has had health issues knows, the physical challenges we encounter has a relationship with our mind and spirit. So, without going into too many details here, I did some work with my life coach and chose the word fullness for 2018. Or, I could say, the word was selected for me by a higher power. Anyway...below you will find some highlights in how I found fullness in my life.

In 2018 my husband and I made the decision to do some home improvements. Anyone close to me knows that when my husband and I have the idea to do something at the same time, it (whatever it is) must definitely get accomplished because that scenario does not happen frequently. With much debate we painted the inside of our home, replaced carpet, and completed some necessary decluttering. Though I have to say, more decluttering is on the list for 2019. Working jointly on a project with the family is a true place of fulfillment.

Another action step I took to experience fulfillment is to create more sacred time and space for creative expression. My creative expression came in multiple forms. I began to broadcast on social media (something new for me) and joined the beautiful PeriGirls. I discovered how doodling/coloring can provide special messages from the spiritual guides through a wonderful artist Elizabeth Sampson and her Art of Intuitive Doodling. I began to explore more of the grand dreams I have with the fabulous Pooja Chawla and her DreamCircle. I'm writing more and have been learning what it takes to write a novel (I've been a writer for awhile but this is a new kind of writing for me). I have Julie Jordan Scott to thank for more writing support. I've been able to acknowledge to a greater depth my gift of creative expression.

A place I spend 30 hours a week is the public library. I'm the Branch Library Assistant and in rural Nevada that means I'm the only one in the building and pretty much do everything needed. Ok, so some management things have to be done by the main administrative location, but I am the one who greets the patrons and attempts to help them with whatever task that is needed. In a six hour day I have assisted as many as 40 patrons from book selection to office store type tasks (faxing, copies) to finding government or legal documents on the internet. The area of work I receive much of my fulfillment is through my integrated Family Literacy and STEAM Program (Science Technology Engineering Art Math). I create a space that allows me to put my teacher hat on without the stress of my former job as a public education teacher. I simply provide "prompts" for learning and go with the flow of the children and their parents.

The most meaningful fulfillment has been through friendships. I've had the opportunity to spend quality time with long time friends and new friends. Some of my friends have had a tough 2018 and I'm grateful that I could be present for them at times of loss. And, there are also wonderful moments like sitting at a California beach with essentially no one else around except a close friend and being blessed with the presence of dolphins close to the shoreline. And then there was the time of improving my skill of taking photos with a master of social media, opening up the way I see things. My daughter is now eighteen, a senior in high school, and I feel that we are closer than we ever have been. I treasure these last days before she enters the young adult college world this next fall. I've already mentioned the accomplishment of taking care of our home with my husband. And, I have two sons, currently ages 16 & 22. Each have brought joy in my life in their own unique way as well.

I guess what the Universe has reinforced in my life about fullness is this: I can intentionally enjoy and capture the moments along the journey. Maybe I'll write more on this in future posts. 

Enjoy the captured moments along the journey!

Just Stuff about Me

I have joined a group of Creatives instigated by my friend Julie Jordan Scott and Paula Puffer. My intention is to post more content in the month of December for our Bridge to the New Year. You can find us on many social media platforms but our base is on Facebook.

Below you will find my first writing to the prompt: Interesting Things About Me
(I've limited it to 18 for the year 2018)

1. I'm 50 but most people think I'm much younger when they focus just on my facial features.

2. I have 3 beautiful children, a young adult son working on a Masters in Accountancy already working in a Public Accounting firm, a daughter senior in high school ranked #1 in her class currently holding the highest ACT score of her class and known for her writing, a multi-faceted artistic son a junior in high school.

3. I began working at a young age in my step-father's restaurants. By the age of 13 I could hostess a banquet, waitress, bus tables, do heavy duty dish washing, cook using a commercial grill & fryer, do the prep for any item on a 100 item hot and cold buffet (including all the salads).

4. By the time I was 18 I also learned the skills for every department in a small grocery store owned by my aunt and uncle, worked in a Roller Skating Rink and again learned how to do every job and being the D.J. was the best, worked in a Moneysaver, and of course had numerous baby sitting jobs.

5. Maintained highest academic status (Honor Roll) in high school even while simultaneously working a lot of hours.

6. Knew I would be an elementary teacher at the age of 13 when put in a sink or swim situation in a church setting. I accomplished that working in public education over a span of 20 years.

7. I've lived in 6 states -- Washington, Idaho, California, Arizona, Montana, Nevada -- living in Nevada the longest from 1992 to present.

8.  I've lived in 14 towns from rural to city, along mountain streams to river valleys to the beach to the desert -- Peck, ID; Clarkston, WA; Mesa, AZ; Riverside, CA; Huntington Beach, CA; Long Beach, CA; Port Hueneme, CA; Whittier, CA; Bozeman, MT; Craigmont, ID; Winchester, ID; Clearwater, ID; Lewiston, ID; West Wendover, NV.

9. I'm an only child but have five (half) siblings and I'm the oldest with my youngest only sister born when I was 17. When I took my little sister and brother (18 months older than sister) out and about with my long-term high school boyfriend, my teachers thought they were mine and I was living a double life. Some may classify mother's present husband's three children as step-siblings but I never lived with them.

10. I met my husband playing pinball my freshman year at college. We now own that particular pinball machine called Pin-Bot..

11. I did not know my husband's first name, only his last, when he asked me out for our first date to movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off. I told a girlfriend about him and she knew his first name and they were friends! I also knew this was the man I would marry at the end of that first date.

12. My favorite female musical artist is Amy Grant. I've seen her perform live at least 5 times and 

enjoyed a one on one 5 minute conversation with her with basically no one but her band in the background.

13. I play Bunco, a dice game. I discovered that my great-grandmother also played Bunco and so now when I play I know she is with me in spirit. When I had my first born, we had a 5 generation picture with this great-grandmother.

14. I have recovered from home bound Chronic Fatigue with Immune Dysfunction and severe Fibromyalgia. I removed myself from the public education setting to seek accurate assessment and healing (primarily naturopathic doctors). I still have to pay attention to my body's messages and work on healthier living but spent the past year on a selective diet that has healed a leaky gut under the guidance of an ND. Mild Fibro flares, arthritis, inflammation while still present at times, no longer prevent me from living fully.   

15. I love chocolate, blush wine, cats, watching movies, music.

16. I am writing a novella.

17. I am a librarian without holding a MLIS (Master's in Library & Informational Science). During my first year of teaching I said to a friend, when I'm tired of the classroom, I'm going to work in a library. Officially my title is Branch Library Assistant. But here's the thing, I'm the only staff person (other than my sub) in a small town library and do almost everything. Obviously, some tasks & decisions for media management is done by others in the system but my boss is 120 miles away! For my community, I've been the Librarian since September 2015.

18. I love books! I have an eclectic collection. In 2018 I read 75 titles, not including children's picture books which would put me over 100.

Authentic Teachers

One of the things I remember about high school were the behaviors of my teachers outside the classroom. I did not live in a tiny town but I did see some of my teachers in different community situations and sometimes had the opportunity to interact with them. A few teachers attended the same church I did. My parents did not attend the church so my interaction as a teen was strictly by my choice with the church community. I observed how my teachers interacted with the other adults and us teens. They were always positive and caring. So when they demonstrated that behavior at the school I knew it was real, not just a persona, not just pretending that they cared for the students in the classroom, not just doing something because it was in some job description for teachers. They were real and authentic. I knew that if I went up to them on the school campus needing assistance, they would follow through and provide assistance as needed. I came to understand that sometimes these individuals went above and beyond the basics when they saw my needs. These teachers who are now retired most likely will never see this blog. But, I thank them. I thank them for being people I could trust and people who truly cared about me when I needed assurances.

Teachers Influence

Who are the teachers in your life? 

We all have teachers influencing us regardless of our age. Teachers have teachers who influence their thinking, behaviors, and actions. 

When I use the word teacher, I am referring to people who hold the role in your life whom you receive instruction, guidance, and modeling. I am not speaking solely of the person in our society who participates in a position in a formal education system. For example, a supervisor in a restaurant may be an effective teacher to the business' employees which contributes to the effect of a very successful business.The teacher who influences your life may be someone you have never met in person and be a celebrity who through her public life has shown her authenticity, her growth, shared her life teachers, and as a result has taught you incredible ideas pushing you to explore your beliefs. The teacher who influences your life may no longer physically walk on this earth and their teachings are accessible in print or other forms of recorded history.

I ask the question because teachers influence who we are.

Sometimes, people who hold the role of teacher interact with you in such a way that what you learn is actually destructive to your ability to do your best at a specific time. I imagine that in most cases that interaction that held you back from the fullness of learning and growth was not intentional from the teacher. But the reality is, this can happen.

I have many teachers I can point to that I feel are key to my growth and learning as a human being. I am a teacher who has had many teachers. And, I expect the Universe to continue providing teachers for me.  

I challenge you to share below who the teachers are in your life and reveal the key lesson, event, or message that took place. You don't need to reveal a specific name (just label 'Teacher X' if you want). During the next few weeks I will be adding a series of posts revealing some of my teachers.

    "A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops." Henry Brooks Adams

Visual Expressions

"I am a leaf floating, leaving my anchor."

"I am a leaf in the autumn returning to my roots."

"I am a leaf allowing the breeze to move me."

"I am a leaf dancing in the wind."

I awoke this morning feeling like crud. A slight cold/sinus issue dampened my intentions for the morning. Instead of telling a friend who I planned on collaborating with this morning that I felt like crud I gave her the visual: I feel like a brick that had bricks fall on it. 

Word choice in language is powerful. The words we hear, read, and write influences our state of being. We use words to describe how we feel and experience the world. The more words we see, hear, and read gives us more choices and freedoms. Everyone has a unique experience with words. What a gift we have in the ability to record our experiences through written expression. While "a picture paints a thousand words" is an old saying, we have the opportunity to write down what we see, hear, feel, and experience from that picture. I encourage you who have taken the time to read this blog to join me in writing a thousand words.

Do you notice that in the first paragraph I select verbs in the past tense? Do you notice that the verbs in the second paragraph is present tense? If you recall what the words "verb" and "past" and "present" mean, thank your English teachers. 

I titled this post as "Visual Expressions." I selected an image of fall and immediately wrote four personal expressions. This little exercise took just a couple minutes for me. Each statement created a different understanding of the subject I. This is an example of the power of words and how we understand people, places, emotions, ideas, and things. We can learn about our self, others, and the world we live in when we take 5 minutes at a time and put words down on the page. 

So, I do have a greater purpose of writing this blog today. I am part of the Julie Jordan Scott Word-Love Writing Community. And, Julie is creating a women's writing group that begins this month. I love the way technology of today allows people from diverse locations the ability to interact and support each other. If you are curious, have any inclinations towards writing, I encourage you to explore what Julie is putting together. I am signed-up already. I love interacting with Julie on all the social media platforms out there. She is pretty easy to find. So, go to this link: http://creativelifemidwife.com/septpassionatewritingcircle/ . I look forward to meeting and supporting other creatives in this passionate writing circle.

Friendship

Recently I've been reflective on the different female friendships in my life. I'm hoping everyone who is reading this post has that one person that no matter how much time passes, can interact as if they just saw each other yesterday. I have a couple of those. One friend I'll give the initials JJ (and not to be confused with another friend with similar initials who I'll refer to in a moment). Anyway, I've known JJ since junior high and now I'm... well let's just say old enough to be a grandmother even though currently I'm not yet and she is. So, JJ and I can talk to each other about anything and everything. We had a very long separation due to life circumstances but once we found each other on social media, all was forgiven. We have our challenging jr/sr high school years that has partly bonded us. But, there are also specific experiences that have bonded us during the adult years.

I also have a newer friendship with a woman with the initials JJS. We have somewhat different life situations but have amazingly been able to find ways to support each other, find the right words to share part of our stories, exchange creative work. We have also found similar interests in books and other components of life. What is wonderful about the friendship is that we have only spent a tiny amount of time in each other's real physical presence but through social media platforms have developed an awareness of each other's needs. While there is no way we can know for sure what to expect in the long term, I anticipate more personal growth for both of us as a result of this connection.

This year has been one of other, multiple, new friends as well on social media. I am amazed how one connection on social media has led to another. Let's just say I love what technology and social media platforms have brought into my life. Each person I've met through the live broadcasting has a unique life story or gift to share and provides an opportunity for being part of something greater than myself. I live in a rural, smaller populated area and so this has been a good year for expanding my interactions with others. There are just too many stories to share in one writing

Another reason I've been reflective on friendship is that I have a couple other friends who during this past summer have experienced some challenging life experiences. Many times I don't know exactly what I can say or do to help other than tell them I am here for them. I believe that empathy is an essential component to friendship. Empathy is sometimes confused with sympathy. Sympathy can be defined as a natural kindness for someone experiencing something unpleasant. Empathy, however, is understanding how someone feels more because you can imagine yourself being that person. Circumstances of the other's experience may be different, but the emotions, the life decisions involved are similar enough that there is a greater awareness and knowing. I would also describe empathy as something I feel at a deeper, spiritual level.

I am writing this post today because I sometimes wonder if we as women tell each other often enough how much we appreciate who they are. I believe that for the most part, women are nurturers who need nurtured by other women. I also believe that personal life coaching is essential because a good life coaching relationship champions who you are, makes the space for your growth, and in some cases is a critical component in the decision making process. And, I have been very fortunate in my co-active life coaching relationship with someone who has modeled these characteristics well. Yes, we women are all different in some respects, but for the most part I think we are more alike than different in regards to needing each other.

We are meant to honor each other's journey, give each other a hug as often as possible, and even verbally say, "I love you for who you are, not just for what you do."

I Write Because...

Custom Writing Pen from Chakra Wanda Creations
www.facebook.com/chakrawandacreations

The Foundation...a writing prompt provided by Julie Jordan Scott, Writing Retreat, 5 for 5 Brain Dump, July 2018

(Part 1) I write because through writing I discover. More about myself. More about others. More about the world. The Life Force becomes known. I write because I need to be intentionally aware. I write to know what I taste, smell, see, hear, feel, understand, believe matters. I write because I like to share the voice inside me, like there's more to me than what other's can see with their eyes. I write because I want to record the world as I see it, hear it, feel it, smell it, understand it. I write because I believe that there is more to this life than just "the doing of life." There is a greater purpose, role, place in the workings of the Universe than what one can observe on the surface. I write because I need to reflect, need to listen to the messages of my Creator, need a tool to help me grow and live a fulfilled life.

Writing gives me a way to articulate taste, touch, smell, sound, sight, feelings.

Writing allows me a way to discover.

Writing allows me to document, to plan, to manifest, to ask questions, to wake up the inner spirit, to encourage, to create space for creativity, to feel the emotions of life, to experience the "aha's" that Oprah references.

(Part 2) I like to write free flow of thought as Julie encourages. And then, later, I like to reread what I wrote and expand, go deeper, reflect, and pull out the nugget of what my inner spirit really wants me to discover...

When I write I am expressing more than I can when I don't write. When I set time aside to put words on the page, whether the words are just for me or for sharing with others, I become more observant. I pay attention to others, nature, the workings of the Universe, to me. When I spend time writing, I listen more. I listen to the whispers of my spirit, I listen to the whispering wind. Without writing I become stagnant like the pond that doesn't have an inlet or outlet. Without writing I lose focus and my sense of being in the moment. Without writing I lose momentum. Without writing I ignore the creative spirit wanting to be heard. Discovery implies learning. I write because the process is an essential element of who I am. Through writing the authentic self is known.

Peace Looks Like...

Below is a response from a prompt selected by Julie Jordan Scott and her 5 for 5 Brain Dump Writing Retreat in July 2018.

(Part 1) Peace looks like this almond tree growing in my back yard, a desert terrain with a little TLC. Peace smells like the summer evening breeze. Peace tastes like a light glass of blush wine after a full day of work. Peace sounds like the birds chirping in the morning and evening.

(Part 2-written after more prompting and reflective thought) I remember peace during a few precious moments in time during my turbulent teen years when I sat with a girlfriend (Julie Johnson) on a fork of the Clearwater River in the green north Idaho forest. We slid our bare feet onto the river's edge cold dirt, splashing the clear cool water on our warm skin. We tossed pebbles into the shallow water asking the questions about life we didn't have answers to. We were independent thinking young women who were also still required to be semi-dependent on others. We could laugh at the simplest things, or let the tears silently roll if needed. We were alone in many aspects and yet our friendship has remained after nearly 38 years. We both wanted more that summer day of the unknown. More peace within. More peace with others. And for that blip on the continuum of our lives we found much needed peace through each other. And we can still capture that in a few simple words while living 300 miles away. Thank you, my friend.

A Memory of Second Grade

          "It does not so much matter what happens. It is what one does when it happens that really counts." Laura Ingalls Wilder

Today I was challenged by a writing prompt by Julie Jordan Scott. It began with a quote from Laura Ingalls Wilder. And then Julie pushes with: Make a list of 5 memories where something significant happened. Write for 5 minutes what you did as a result. I focused on writing on one memory from my list that I believe shaped me as a learner and teacher. It was in the year 1975 in Bozeman, Montana.

It is my first day of second grade at Longfellow Elementary and the school year had already begun. The students were on the carpet and the teacher was in a wooden rocking chair. I cannot recall her name but I remember her face. She was reading a story and paused when we entered. After the office secretary introduced me, the teacher brought me to her, almost putting me on her lap as she placed me close to her. The scared girl inside suddenly felt secure. It was as if her arms had been waiting for me, wanting to comfort me, attend to my insecurities. I have a memory of thinking this teacher must be a wonderful grandmother. While I had been an early reader, attending a progressive kindergarten, I had also attended two schools in first grade in socio-economic-diverse schools in the Los Angeles region of the 70's. This school, this classroom, this teacher showed me a very different way of being a student. Somehow I knew I was in a safe place, that one room school settings like I read in the Little House books may have actually existed. Clearly not everything was perfect in that school I know as an adult. But, I realize that my love for school, the learning and teaching environment, how a teacher had the power to create that space, encourage a love for books began that day. And for those who do not know, I chose teaching, loved teaching first and second grade, creating the lessons and space for learning. School for most of my life was my safe place (until it was not and that is a memory for another day).

What Color?

Prompt from Julie Jordan Scott (JJSWritingCamp found on Facebook)

"What color makes me feel the best?" asks my friend JJS. Different colors at different times. Recently when participating in a visualization exercise with my life coach Amy, we came upon yellow and orange. I had a need for warmth and the images were the sun, fields of sunflowers, bright orange and banana yellow. The next week I went into a favorite fabric store to get something for a friend and the yellow yarn screamed at me to buy to make a blanket and even though I have another crochet project in the works and don't need another blanket for me, the yarn went into my cart. And bright yellow/orange is much different to me than the winter tans of the desert in which I live. The tan is more of a dormant, hibernation, cuddle up inside with a book color for me. The bright yellow says summer fun. On other note, I love sitting on the beach or a ridge overlooking the ocean, generally where or when it is warmer outside so the natural breeze from the water is refreshing not chilly like on a northern coastline. So, then the color would be blue as it is an inspiring and healing color for me and I find myself writing. I also like greens, as in the many shades of a forest, as memories of the smell of the forest are triggered and I have fond memories of family activities in that kind of environment. Camping is no longer something I long to do as my body prefers a real bed and shower but as a kid, I didn't care about those things. Driving through the California Redwoods, like we did last summer as a family, is always reflective and rejuvenating. Then, if you look at some of my personal accessories you will find purples. A purple bag for my laptop, a purple day planner, a purple watch band. I don't know, it is a fun color and appears to reflect my organization tools (I also like to write in purple ink). If you look in my closet you will find I wear particular colors in different seasons, for example the school color of burgundy during basketball season. So, JJS, there you go, I'm a chameleon of sorts I guess, or maybe just an eclectic of color.

Snowflakes

The time it takes ---

for snowflakes to whiten

the distant pines.

Lorraine Ellis Harr

I enjoy this haiku because it so simply expresses the experience. Sitting in a quiet setting I too have been oblivious of time watching the snowflakes fall. Haiku finds a way to recreate the natural experience; it creates an image that triggers your emotions from a related experience.

2018 - A Time to Write...

In January of 2018 I've been inspired to once again share my writing. Instead of starting a brand new blog page, I'm using this site to once again share my thoughts. Recently I've engaged in some writing experiences with Julie Jordan Scott and some of her creative friends. So, some of my writings here are the direct result of her prompts and occasionally I'll come up with some others, giving credit when due. So enjoy!

Dancing

after the dancing ---

the wind in the pines

and the insects' cries

Sogetsu-Ni

When I think dancing, spontaneous rhythm comes to mind. How often do we dance? How often do we pause after the dancing and listen? Do we dance in the rhythm of nature or are we jerking along and working against the natural flow of energy?

I am reminded of some music genres. Some artists find this rhythm with the flow of energy more easily than others. I am also thinking this is true of all artists. Maybe this is what Julia Cameron is also attempting to help artists find. She has coined the phrase "The Artist's Way" and maybe this is the true secret, dancing.