Being Present

Recently my good friend held her 5 for 5 Brain Dump series. Julie Jordan Scott provides inspirational and motivational writing prompts that I simply love to participate in. Creating a community of writers and artists is one of her gifts. 

The above Tolle quote was shared during one of these writing sessions and that week I also had the opportunity to relax at the Sugar House Park (Salt Lake City area) before driving the 150 miles home. These waterfowl understand naturally what it means to "be present." So, how is it that our advanced human species finds this concept so difficult? I live in a what is labeled as rural Nevada and yet I love going to the city for the diversity of life and all the stimulation that is part of urban life. I've come to the conclusion that where one physically lives does not necessarily encourage or discourage one's behavior towards being present or not being present. I do believe that Tolle has touched on something...negativity. I also think that there is more to being present than what Tolle is indicating in this statement. I am still trying to articulate this elusive idea of being present for myself but I want to write about it anyway. 

I have discovered that at different times of the day my energy and focus on the world around me is different. We all have patterns in our behavior whether we realize it or not. I've partly come to this conclusion from my writing moods. Sometimes when I write I am able to easily put words on the page that show what is happening within and around me. Other times I have trouble putting the words on the page. I have a sense that when my best writing comes to the page I am living fully in the present moment (and I also know that is when I am most tuned in to the spiritual energy forces at work).  

But the question is, what do I need to do so I am more present in the moment more often? Maybe, I need to first identify what is NOT being in the present moment. Do you ever go on "autopilot" when driving a daily route, or completing a routine task? This is not being in the present moment. Our brains develop automaticity for efficiency. For example, we train children to memorize basic math facts or phonetic patterns so that completing higher level thinking problem solving or comprehension can be the focus of the experience of learning. That memorizing is automaticity. As a human species, we've become pretty good at that concept to the point that our muscle memory can actually prevent us from being aware of our own actions.

We also have a very good brain filtering system. This again is for efficiency of functioning in our modern environment. What do I mean by this? Well, when I go shopping in a mall many things are happening all around me. However, my brain only pays attention to things I've trained it to notice like "On Sale" or "50% off" signs. So, in this case, I've limited what I'm paying attention to. So, while some may say "I am always in the present moment when I'm shopping" there are going to be periods of time that the individual is ignoring a lot of the environment like the noise or crowd of other people shopping.

So, now that I've come up with some ways to describe not being present, I come back to the question, what do I need to do so I am more present in the moment more often?  Well, I believe on that day trip to the city and spending time at the park with my son, simply observing the ducks and eating a scoop of ice cream I was living in the present moment. I know this for a couple reasons. One, I had a great desire to take a picture. Taking photos is a way for me to stop and observe and allows me to create a recorded image of that present moment. Second, I fully tasted the smooth jamocha almond fudge ice cream and felt the crunch of the waffle cone in my mouth. On my day trips to the city, this example shows something simple I can do to stay in the present moment of being with my son. 

More ideas are slowly coming to mind as to what it means for me to be present. This is why I write. This is why I love the prompts my creative friend shares with me.   

Bottom Line for 2019

Recently my life coach Amy K asked me the question: What is your bottom line for 2019? Now, in some conversations this may be in reference to financial status. But for me, that isn't what it is about, or is it? Financial status reflects investment. Investment of time, money, resources...hmmm. So, what if I ask the question this way? How am I going to invest my energy, time, money, resources in 2019 and for what desired outcome?

Here is my response: 2019 is the Bridge to a New Decade, a New Season. This concept of a designated time related to a bridge comes not from my own creativity, but rather an extension of something a friend created. Julie Jordan Scott, with her collaborator Paula Puffer, created a FaceBook Group called Bridge to the New Year. Each day in the month of December they offered prompts for us to share a response in any creative platform we wanted. As we finished up I realized that for me 2019 is a Bridge YEAR. So what is a bridge? What are bridges for? How are they made?

What is a bridge? So, the word bridge can be used in multiple ways. The essence of the word is linking one thing to another. As a noun it is a connector piece, or location. The land bridge allowed the two communities to share needed resources. As a verb it is used as an action word meaning to help get over or through challenges.  The school liaison bridged the language barrier between the parents and teachers. 

What is a bridge for? Many times along our journey of life we need a structure or tool to help us get from point A to point B. This can be thought of in a very physical sense, like the physical structure of a bridge taking an individual over a river. And, this can be thought of in a more abstract way, like taking time in the month of December to reflect and respond to prompts that help us close out the year of 2018 and open ourselves up to the possibilities of 2019.

How is a bridge made? A bridge is a structure. But this is the little bit I know about bridges. They need to also have some "give and take" and not all bridges work for all situations. Imagine the foot bridge created in the rugged mountains and compare that image to the bridges that are located in the San Francisco Bay area. When we were responding in the FaceBook group Bridge to the New Year, the creators recognized that the participants needed different ways to respond, some flexibility. A structure was provided but we had some "give and take."

My Bottom Line for 2019...get across the bridge! So, in January I am exploring what I need to first create my bridge, then I will be putting the foundational structure together. In the process I am including some flexibility with the end result in mind. I'm soon going to be an "empty nester." Yep! My oldest child is almost completely self-reliant now functioning in the adult world. My middle child graduates from high school in May of this year and is on a journey towards higher education. My youngest becomes a senior this year and graduates May 2020. The time has come to put my resources and understandings together to live my best life in this next new season of the journey with my husband. I won't be detailing my bridge here in this post. But, some people know that I need to see the big picture. I like to have a sense of knowing where I am and where I am going. It is okay if the energies of the Universe guide me slightly differently than I expected but I need a support system with a destination in mind.

So my questions to those who share their time reading this blog post are: Is 2019 a Bridge year for you? What is your bottom line for 2019? What will you need for your bridge? And, what support system will you put in place to get to your destination?

Fullness 2018

Once again I am writing in response to the Bridge to the NewYear group of creatives with Julie Jordan Scott and Paula Puffer. The prompt is in regards to my word for 2018 - Fullness. I have also done a Periscope broadcast/Twitter post but decided to also write. A year ago I was not feeling fantastic physically and anyone  who has had health issues knows, the physical challenges we encounter has a relationship with our mind and spirit. So, without going into too many details here, I did some work with my life coach and chose the word fullness for 2018. Or, I could say, the word was selected for me by a higher power. Anyway...below you will find some highlights in how I found fullness in my life.

In 2018 my husband and I made the decision to do some home improvements. Anyone close to me knows that when my husband and I have the idea to do something at the same time, it (whatever it is) must definitely get accomplished because that scenario does not happen frequently. With much debate we painted the inside of our home, replaced carpet, and completed some necessary decluttering. Though I have to say, more decluttering is on the list for 2019. Working jointly on a project with the family is a true place of fulfillment.

Another action step I took to experience fulfillment is to create more sacred time and space for creative expression. My creative expression came in multiple forms. I began to broadcast on social media (something new for me) and joined the beautiful PeriGirls. I discovered how doodling/coloring can provide special messages from the spiritual guides through a wonderful artist Elizabeth Sampson and her Art of Intuitive Doodling. I began to explore more of the grand dreams I have with the fabulous Pooja Chawla and her DreamCircle. I'm writing more and have been learning what it takes to write a novel (I've been a writer for awhile but this is a new kind of writing for me). I have Julie Jordan Scott to thank for more writing support. I've been able to acknowledge to a greater depth my gift of creative expression.

A place I spend 30 hours a week is the public library. I'm the Branch Library Assistant and in rural Nevada that means I'm the only one in the building and pretty much do everything needed. Ok, so some management things have to be done by the main administrative location, but I am the one who greets the patrons and attempts to help them with whatever task that is needed. In a six hour day I have assisted as many as 40 patrons from book selection to office store type tasks (faxing, copies) to finding government or legal documents on the internet. The area of work I receive much of my fulfillment is through my integrated Family Literacy and STEAM Program (Science Technology Engineering Art Math). I create a space that allows me to put my teacher hat on without the stress of my former job as a public education teacher. I simply provide "prompts" for learning and go with the flow of the children and their parents.

The most meaningful fulfillment has been through friendships. I've had the opportunity to spend quality time with long time friends and new friends. Some of my friends have had a tough 2018 and I'm grateful that I could be present for them at times of loss. And, there are also wonderful moments like sitting at a California beach with essentially no one else around except a close friend and being blessed with the presence of dolphins close to the shoreline. And then there was the time of improving my skill of taking photos with a master of social media, opening up the way I see things. My daughter is now eighteen, a senior in high school, and I feel that we are closer than we ever have been. I treasure these last days before she enters the young adult college world this next fall. I've already mentioned the accomplishment of taking care of our home with my husband. And, I have two sons, currently ages 16 & 22. Each have brought joy in my life in their own unique way as well.

I guess what the Universe has reinforced in my life about fullness is this: I can intentionally enjoy and capture the moments along the journey. Maybe I'll write more on this in future posts. 

Enjoy the captured moments along the journey!

Just Stuff about Me

I have joined a group of Creatives instigated by my friend Julie Jordan Scott and Paula Puffer. My intention is to post more content in the month of December for our Bridge to the New Year. You can find us on many social media platforms but our base is on Facebook.

Below you will find my first writing to the prompt: Interesting Things About Me
(I've limited it to 18 for the year 2018)

1. I'm 50 but most people think I'm much younger when they focus just on my facial features.

2. I have 3 beautiful children, a young adult son working on a Masters in Accountancy already working in a Public Accounting firm, a daughter senior in high school ranked #1 in her class currently holding the highest ACT score of her class and known for her writing, a multi-faceted artistic son a junior in high school.

3. I began working at a young age in my step-father's restaurants. By the age of 13 I could hostess a banquet, waitress, bus tables, do heavy duty dish washing, cook using a commercial grill & fryer, do the prep for any item on a 100 item hot and cold buffet (including all the salads).

4. By the time I was 18 I also learned the skills for every department in a small grocery store owned by my aunt and uncle, worked in a Roller Skating Rink and again learned how to do every job and being the D.J. was the best, worked in a Moneysaver, and of course had numerous baby sitting jobs.

5. Maintained highest academic status (Honor Roll) in high school even while simultaneously working a lot of hours.

6. Knew I would be an elementary teacher at the age of 13 when put in a sink or swim situation in a church setting. I accomplished that working in public education over a span of 20 years.

7. I've lived in 6 states -- Washington, Idaho, California, Arizona, Montana, Nevada -- living in Nevada the longest from 1992 to present.

8.  I've lived in 14 towns from rural to city, along mountain streams to river valleys to the beach to the desert -- Peck, ID; Clarkston, WA; Mesa, AZ; Riverside, CA; Huntington Beach, CA; Long Beach, CA; Port Hueneme, CA; Whittier, CA; Bozeman, MT; Craigmont, ID; Winchester, ID; Clearwater, ID; Lewiston, ID; West Wendover, NV.

9. I'm an only child but have five (half) siblings and I'm the oldest with my youngest only sister born when I was 17. When I took my little sister and brother (18 months older than sister) out and about with my long-term high school boyfriend, my teachers thought they were mine and I was living a double life. Some may classify mother's present husband's three children as step-siblings but I never lived with them.

10. I met my husband playing pinball my freshman year at college. We now own that particular pinball machine called Pin-Bot..

11. I did not know my husband's first name, only his last, when he asked me out for our first date to movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off. I told a girlfriend about him and she knew his first name and they were friends! I also knew this was the man I would marry at the end of that first date.

12. My favorite female musical artist is Amy Grant. I've seen her perform live at least 5 times and 

enjoyed a one on one 5 minute conversation with her with basically no one but her band in the background.

13. I play Bunco, a dice game. I discovered that my great-grandmother also played Bunco and so now when I play I know she is with me in spirit. When I had my first born, we had a 5 generation picture with this great-grandmother.

14. I have recovered from home bound Chronic Fatigue with Immune Dysfunction and severe Fibromyalgia. I removed myself from the public education setting to seek accurate assessment and healing (primarily naturopathic doctors). I still have to pay attention to my body's messages and work on healthier living but spent the past year on a selective diet that has healed a leaky gut under the guidance of an ND. Mild Fibro flares, arthritis, inflammation while still present at times, no longer prevent me from living fully.   

15. I love chocolate, blush wine, cats, watching movies, music.

16. I am writing a novella.

17. I am a librarian without holding a MLIS (Master's in Library & Informational Science). During my first year of teaching I said to a friend, when I'm tired of the classroom, I'm going to work in a library. Officially my title is Branch Library Assistant. But here's the thing, I'm the only staff person (other than my sub) in a small town library and do almost everything. Obviously, some tasks & decisions for media management is done by others in the system but my boss is 120 miles away! For my community, I've been the Librarian since September 2015.

18. I love books! I have an eclectic collection. In 2018 I read 75 titles, not including children's picture books which would put me over 100.

Visual Expressions

"I am a leaf floating, leaving my anchor."

"I am a leaf in the autumn returning to my roots."

"I am a leaf allowing the breeze to move me."

"I am a leaf dancing in the wind."

I awoke this morning feeling like crud. A slight cold/sinus issue dampened my intentions for the morning. Instead of telling a friend who I planned on collaborating with this morning that I felt like crud I gave her the visual: I feel like a brick that had bricks fall on it. 

Word choice in language is powerful. The words we hear, read, and write influences our state of being. We use words to describe how we feel and experience the world. The more words we see, hear, and read gives us more choices and freedoms. Everyone has a unique experience with words. What a gift we have in the ability to record our experiences through written expression. While "a picture paints a thousand words" is an old saying, we have the opportunity to write down what we see, hear, feel, and experience from that picture. I encourage you who have taken the time to read this blog to join me in writing a thousand words.

Do you notice that in the first paragraph I select verbs in the past tense? Do you notice that the verbs in the second paragraph is present tense? If you recall what the words "verb" and "past" and "present" mean, thank your English teachers. 

I titled this post as "Visual Expressions." I selected an image of fall and immediately wrote four personal expressions. This little exercise took just a couple minutes for me. Each statement created a different understanding of the subject I. This is an example of the power of words and how we understand people, places, emotions, ideas, and things. We can learn about our self, others, and the world we live in when we take 5 minutes at a time and put words down on the page. 

So, I do have a greater purpose of writing this blog today. I am part of the Julie Jordan Scott Word-Love Writing Community. And, Julie is creating a women's writing group that begins this month. I love the way technology of today allows people from diverse locations the ability to interact and support each other. If you are curious, have any inclinations towards writing, I encourage you to explore what Julie is putting together. I am signed-up already. I love interacting with Julie on all the social media platforms out there. She is pretty easy to find. So, go to this link: http://creativelifemidwife.com/septpassionatewritingcircle/ . I look forward to meeting and supporting other creatives in this passionate writing circle.

Peace Looks Like...

Below is a response from a prompt selected by Julie Jordan Scott and her 5 for 5 Brain Dump Writing Retreat in July 2018.

(Part 1) Peace looks like this almond tree growing in my back yard, a desert terrain with a little TLC. Peace smells like the summer evening breeze. Peace tastes like a light glass of blush wine after a full day of work. Peace sounds like the birds chirping in the morning and evening.

(Part 2-written after more prompting and reflective thought) I remember peace during a few precious moments in time during my turbulent teen years when I sat with a girlfriend (Julie Johnson) on a fork of the Clearwater River in the green north Idaho forest. We slid our bare feet onto the river's edge cold dirt, splashing the clear cool water on our warm skin. We tossed pebbles into the shallow water asking the questions about life we didn't have answers to. We were independent thinking young women who were also still required to be semi-dependent on others. We could laugh at the simplest things, or let the tears silently roll if needed. We were alone in many aspects and yet our friendship has remained after nearly 38 years. We both wanted more that summer day of the unknown. More peace within. More peace with others. And for that blip on the continuum of our lives we found much needed peace through each other. And we can still capture that in a few simple words while living 300 miles away. Thank you, my friend.

2018 - A Time to Write...

In January of 2018 I've been inspired to once again share my writing. Instead of starting a brand new blog page, I'm using this site to once again share my thoughts. Recently I've engaged in some writing experiences with Julie Jordan Scott and some of her creative friends. So, some of my writings here are the direct result of her prompts and occasionally I'll come up with some others, giving credit when due. So enjoy!